Welcome back to week two of how to do self-love right.
In week one we looked at the different approaches to self-love and ways we can approach the journey. We do this in order to make sure we set up a healthy foundation for our new direction.
Today, we will take a deeper look into the seven segments that make up self-love. To begin it is important to consider where you are at in each of the different segments.
Self-awareness
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Self-awareness involves observing your thoughts, emotions, beliefs and your inner world of dialogue. Therefore, it is a vitally important influence for self-development, happiness and wellbeing. Developing awareness requires an honest, non-judgmental approach based on loving kindness through keen observation. A gentle reflective way to do this is to contemplate multiple aspects of your wellbeing.
Take a moment to contemplate the following statements and write down your answers in a notebook. This will give you a better understanding of your self-awareness. Give a rating of one to ten for each question. One being the least correct and ten being the most correct.
Do I stay present in every moment
Can I think positively
Is it possible to direct my behavior in order to benefit others
I have awareness of how to maintain my happiness
Do I know what matters most to me
Can I have great relationships with others
Do I feel good about myself
I eat food that nourish my mind and body
Am I able to calm myself after an upsetting experience
I am happy
Increasing our self-awareness is a process that requires time, a peaceful mind, attention and focus. Therefore, making it a priority is the fastest and most effective way to get positive results.
As we know human beings are prone to being self-critical or hard on ourselves and others. Therefore, becoming more self-aware helps in developing the skills to loosen these harmful attitudes and actions. This will help you become more aligned with your true values.
Being completely honest with yourself is a very effective way of locating the mindsets that do not align with your core values. You can do this by writing down your values and honestly looking at areas you feel vulnerable or defensive about. Our thoughts and feelings are doorways to identifying the beliefs that do not serve us.
In conclusion, try setting some new intentions and use these to communicate to your subconscious mind. Daily practice will ensure you are well on the way to developing a strong and honest sense of self-awareness.
Self-expression
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It is not surprising that a lack of healthy self-expression can be the cause of physical, mental illness and disease.
If you have difficulty expressing your true feelings there are a number of different ways and methods you can use to get your truth across. The most effective way to achieve this goal is to have clarity of thought. Clarity helps you to communicate and express yourself so that others can understand you clearly. When conversing with others ask yourself questions such as;
What do I most want to be heard?
Am I aware of what my intention is in having this conversation?
Do I know what the main point I wish to make is?
This will ensure the message you want to convey is heard and understood correctly.
Keeping your focus on being authentic, real, composed and honest. This will ensure you’re getting your message across and is an essential part of positive self-expression.
Paying close attention to avoiding accusations and blame will open a conversation. Instead focus on your tone and body language ensuring the most direct and positive pathway to effective self-expression.
Furthermore, another very important part of self-expression lies in your ability to listen to the other person. Everyone wants to be heard with an open heart and mind so making room for the other person to be heard gives the opportunity and space for this to happen.
Finally, when it comes to healthy self-expression one of the most important aspects comes though the realization that you cannot change another person. The only purpose you should be concerned with is to be honest and authentic in your communication. By following these simple but effective ideas your self-expression becomes a transformative experience freeing yourself and at the same time demonstrating self-acceptance and self-love which of course is the primary goal.
Self-Care
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One of the greatest benefits through self-care is a significant reduction in stress. When we let the day to day stresses run our reactions we become emotionally exhausted and physically run down.
There are so many wonderful ways to indulge in self-care that you are only limited by your imagination. From taking a bath, reading a book, watching a movie, exercising, meditating, taking a nap, or getting a massage. There are many options available you are only limited by your imagination.
Self-Esteem
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Self-esteem relates directly to a person’s beliefs about their value, place in life and their self-worth. The reason self-esteem is so important in your life is that it positively or negatively influences your choices and decisions. Self-esteem acts as a motivational charge because it significantly influences how we care for ourselves.
Having high self-esteem makes it easier to work towards the success of goals while tending to self-care needs.
On the other hand, if we have low self-esteem we could suffer from low self-worth. We may also struggle to look after our self-care needs because we don’t believe we deserve it.
Therefore, investing in developing healthy, balanced self-esteem will play a vital role in leading a happy and successful life.
Some ways in which you can achieve this could be using positive affirmations that are believable to you. Furthermore, identifying your current competencies and finding opportunities to develop them will give you a confidence boost.
Learning how to feel comfortable with accepting compliments will also be advantageous. Becoming aware of negative self-talk and building on developing self-compassion can dramatically improve your feeling of self-worth. Finally, affirming your self-worth by making a list of your positive qualities will help to gradually shift your mindset.
In conclusion, improving your self-esteem will take some time. With persistence it will lead to healthier emotional habits and positive psychological effects on your life. Now is the time!
Self-Kindness
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Recognizing and celebrating our self-worth is a goal that everyone should aspire to achieving in life. We all experience days when we don’t feel our best, or something doesn’t go our way. Learning to love ourselves despite these experiences is a key ingredient when it comes to self-kindness and experiencing true happiness.
The first step before we begin relates to a vital choice towards your transformation.
Decide today that you are so worthy of love. Make the relationship with yourself the most important one you have.
Here are some amazing ways to show yourself kindness that will change your life forever.
When we decide to say goodbye to our inner critic we allow ourselves the opportunity to believe we are worthy of kindness. Remember you are in charge of your destiny, take the reins, you can do it!
Speaking kind words to yourself whether out loud or silently is a great way to speak with your subconscious. Be your own cheerleader everyday and watch others jump on board.
Lastly, acknowledge your achievements daily and increasingly you will notice the difference. Self-praise will help in developing your confidence, motivation and most importantly your self-kindness.
Self-Respect
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Self-respect determines all of the decisions you will make in your life. It also forms the foundation of all the relationships you will have in your life.
Therefore, a strong, healthy level of self-respect is one of the most important factors to work on. Our goal is to experience happiness in any relationship whether it’s with yourself or with others.
Low self-respect is evident when you allow others to take control or walk all over you. This removes your ability to give your approval in relationships. This can arise in seeking validation from others, when you care for others that don’t return your feelings. Or, you tolerate verbal, mental or physical abuse because of a desperate need for attention and or approval.
Firstly, respect your beliefs and values and do not let anyone change them
Take care of yourself by living a lifestyle of balanced sleep, healthy diet and adequate amounts of physical exercise.
Cleaning up your environment helps you feel good and demonstrates healthy self-respect, understand your limits and learn to say no.
Learning how to speak up and set healthy boundaries is an incredibly important aspect of demonstrating self-respect. It will also guide others in what you will tolerate and what you will not.
Treat your failures and weaknesses as opportunities to learn and grow. These are not reasons to beat up on yourself with negative, critical self talk.
Finally, make a list of goals you would like to achieve. Setting goals and working towards them gives you a feeling of hope, confidence and self-acceptance.
Taking small steps daily through positive self-talk, meditation, self-care and honest communication with yourself is a great start. Providing you with the motivation to make the changes necessary to turn your entire life around.
Self-growth
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Self-growth is the last of the seven segments of self-love. It represents a continuing process of developing our understanding of life and experiences in order to achieve our fullest potential.
Our self-worth also lays the groundwork for developing awareness specifically oriented around our possibilities and opportunities. When we take advantage of our opportunities for greater fulfillment we create excitement and anticipation for each new day.
You can start to consciously work on self-growth everyday day. Start by incorporating small steps that will lead to increased development and happiness. Here are a few examples to get you started.
Listen actively to others and be open to feedback
Develop you confidence by taking a course
Work on some exercises or activities that will help you face your fears
Improve and develop your awareness of your vocal tone and body language
Try some exercises that will help you deal with procrastination
Develop a positive attitude by using daily affirmations or oracle cards
Work on areas of your life where you need to release the past
Practice mindfulness techniques to bring healthy habits to your life
Make a commitment to working through your perceived limitations
Read as often and as much as you can
Make proactiveness a a habit in order to achieve your goals
Make an effort to be inclusive and build rapport with others
Focus on developing your willpower when it comes to any harmful habits
You have the opportunity to make your life an amazing adventure. By working on yourself you learn to take responsibility for your life and the fulfillment you want to achieve. The impact of this effort will be noticed by others and most importantly you!
Live in the present moment and make self-growth a priority to live intentionally always open to the possibility of learning. It is through this development that we come to experience the riches of joy and happiness in our lives.
Please join me next week for the next chapter of your self-love journey!